oh abah, you're right all these years

Assalamualaikum to those who are willing to read. Your fully concern is highly appreciated.

Okay, let start the story with me, myself. I was born in this family with some leaps and bounds in crisis.  Well everyone  knows that life is not  a bed of roses. Like my favorite teacher  once said “as long as you have food to eat and cloth to wear, everything is okay”.  I hold this principle for several years. I start to shun away with my family problem and focus on my study. Alhamdulilah, I do great with it.

The reason I wrote this stuff is not to make thing clear. This is due to I acknowledge myself that I don’t have any power to point people’s mistake, I’m just want to express my feeling that I kept deep inside my heart all these years.

 Actually this story had happened a long times ago. I’m still remember when I was a little girl I always saw the older people in my family arguing. That time I feel weird because as a family why they are so much argue, why they don’t act like the happy loving cuddly family in the television. But I remain silence.

I still remember when my abah got mad and drove away from kampong just like that and it is not happen only once. heheh my abah is a sensitive person as he still like that.  Sometime my abah also told me about one of his family member that detests him. But I remain silence. Hehe once a while I also advised abah that it is not good to talk other people back. Well it’s hard to keep my mouth shut. Then, abah will be the one who remain silence.

 

Recently the history repeated by itself. There have been misinformation happen (I choose this word as it looks more polite :p) that lead to argue. This time it becomes worse because it involve the younger in the family. This cannot be obstruct as the younger is not actually young anymore. They know they can differentiate between the right and wrong. What they forget to know is that it ’s essential  to keep this silaturahim and not get influence with darah muda.

There was a day after raya when abah and me sit together in the kitchen, helping me to cook for lunch. We chat about my friends, anept’s girlfriend, my other sibling deepest secrete hahah I’m REALLY cannot shut my mouth and other funny stories. Then it’s time for abah to tell his stories and he told me about one of his family member. Firstly, I’m just kept silence. As a realistic person, I believe it’s very crucial to listen for both side. Then I brave myself to ask “abah dari dulu lagi memang suka gado ngan *** ke, sejak kecik lagi, naper? Bile bende ni start?”.  Abah take a moment. Maybe he do not know whether to tell me this bitter story or not because he afraid it’ll grow hatred in my heart to that particular person or maybe abah knows whatever he told me is difficult for me to understand as I refused to do so until I hear from both side. Finally, abah told me the story. He told me that he never intend to coax my grandma to give the land to his and many other things. Abah try to convince me by telling evidence in every detail of his story. I’m also try hard to recall those back memory and it suit with abah story.

For instance, when my grandparent still alive, I was one of family member who frequently be forced by abah to balik kampong. The reason balik kampong is like a pill in my throat is I always been criticized for not doing thing right in the kitchen hahah. Well, I was not born to stay in the kitchen. There a lots outside the kitchen waiting for me to discover.  Until know, the kitchen and me are not really good friend =.=”.  okay back to the important story.

Preparation for eid- adha when my grandparent still alive.

Me: banyak ek nenek masak sume orang balik ek, org ni balik x, org tu balik x, nenek ade ajak *** x, da jemput  *** datang?”

Late grandma: buat ape nak jemput, kan raya, ni bukan rumah sape pun, kalau die nak balik, die balik! (tertibe melenting, terkejut aku)

And then my late grandma mumble all the days,  she told my father about the conversation between her and me. My father just remains silence. He never took the chance to spread all bad word about *** in front of me although he got the perfect time and believe me I never heard my father said something bad about *** to my grandparent. Maybe because abah knows his parent knows who abah is really. It is actually actions that speak louder than the words in abah ways to show his deeply concern to my grandparent.  

Actually, even abah had told me the story I’m still refused to choose side. I believe we all should forget the past and start a fresh bond. Untill one day…

It’s shock news when my older brother tags me to read the blog. I read the whole things. Nothing interests me because I know the REAL story. But what touched my heart is the sentence “dia telah diberi balasan dengan isteri yang menghidapi penyakit cronik da n 2 orang anak yang cacat”. That very particular sentence had make tears rolls down to my cheek. La haula wala ku wata illah billah. I never imagine that these words define my family. If he said that he never mention my family and I ’m just the one who extravagant what can be said,I’ve been raised in this family full of backbiting and slander. To realize this sarcastic sentence is just like take a candy from a baby.

So I made up my mind. I’ll never let people describe my family like that. it’s the time for me to stand for own family. I’ll show the world to have a person with chronic illness and 2 handicapped brothers is not an obstacle to be a person that can benefit others. I ‘ll chased my dream to be a good muslimah doctor and uphold  my family good name.

Mak ayah aku ade anak jadi doctor. Ko ade?

Like anept said “kesenangan kiteorang pun bukan sebab kesusahan ko” so tak tau lah kalo ko rase susah dengan kesenangan kiteorang. Tu ko punya pasal. But don’t cross my line!.

Ahh the good thing I discover after read the blog is I finally heard both story. Now, I can choose side. Oh abah, you’re right all these times.

aku lulus Q.T.I walaupun =P

salam,
makcik aku luluslah qti, alhamdulilah ^^, happy sesangat tengahari tadi dapat meseg suruh tetapkan tarikh test jpj. yeah!! . aku pun xtau lah camner aku leh proceeds g test jpj. pasal time qti dulu aku lost betul, lupe pasang signal lah,  mati engine kat trafic light lah. wah ,rase teruk betul time tu. bile uncle cine tu cakap "awak belum cekap bawak kereta lagi, nanti belajar lagi ha, sudah belajar bape jam?" aku da down da. aku rase comfirm aku fail padahal baru 1/4 kerat aku kat jalan raya. then, aku pun malas2 bawak kete, malas nak tengok side mirror, malas nak free gear, tarik handbreak huhu. dah lah paking senget pulak. pucat muka aku keluar kete, rase terkubur harapan aku nk dapat lesen. lepas tu ade budak pompuan duk sebelah aku, tanye ok ke x, xkan aku nk tipu kan, bulan pose ni. so, aku pun bukalah pekung di dada hwawawa. malu kut. aku sempat gak intai uncle tu tick kat kertas ujian jln raya aku "GAGAL MENGUNAKAN CERMIN PANDANG BELAKANG DAN SISI" ha amik ko, gugup aku tgk kertas tu.

yang olah gerak tu ok je. just uncle tu tegur aku hampir-hampir langgar tiang. da pak cik tu berkerut je muka, aku pun takut lah. kat bukit silly mistake, lupa angkat tangan, pastu minyak xkuat, siap mati engine, siap ade yang kebelakang kete, memang disaster betul, nasib baik aku  tekan brek :p eleh.

overallnye aku lulus! percayalah...(sambil nyanyi lagu siti)

jadi aku telah tetapkan 26.9 sebagai test jpj kete aku, senin. time kuliah, xperlah t aku habag kat lecterur terchinta ye. mesti die faham. t jpj aku nk wat betul2 chaiyok! chaiyok!

ni ade sedikit tips untuk aku waktu jpj test t

kertas yang jpj tu tande merangkumi:

Markah 1 ->
- Membetulkan tempat duduk.

Markah 2 ->
- Membetulkan cermin pandang belakang dan tepi.

Markah 3 ->
- Pakai talipinggang keledar.

Markah 4 ->
- Menentukan gear dalam keadaan bebas sebelum menghidupkan engin motokar.

Markah 5 ->
- Menguji keadaan pencuci cermin dan lampu isyarat.

Markah 6 ->
- Guna isyarat lampu/tangan apabila diperlukan.

Markah 7 ->
- Guna brek kaki dan tangan dengan betul.

Markah 8 ->
- Mematuhi peraturan lampu isyarat.

Markah 9 ->
- Mematuhi tanda berhenti di persimpangan jalan.

Markah 10 ->
- Mematuhi peraturan garisan dua selari.

Markah 11 ->
- Memandu di lorong yang betul/kawalan steering.

Markah 12 ->
- Memandu kenderaan di jarak yang selamat.

Markah 13 ->
- Memotong dengan cara yang betul dan menggunakan cermin pandang belakang sebelum membelok.

Markah 14 ->
- Mematuhi had laju.

Markah 15 ->
- Memberi keutamaan kepada pejalan kaki,penunggang basikal dan motosikal.

Markah 16 ->
- Memandu di selekoh dengan cara yang betul,perlahan dan ikut lorong yang betul.

Markah 17 ->
- Tidak menukar lorong dengan tergesa-gesa di kawasan kesesakan lalulintas.

Markah 18 ->
- Memberi keutamaan kepada kenderaan dari sebelah kanan di persimpangan dan bulatan.

Markah 19 ->
- Memandu secara tidak merbahaya.

Markah 20 ->- Menggunakan gear sesuai mengikut kelajuan. 

Nota: Markah minima untuk lulus ialah 16 / 20.Dengan syarat tidak berlaku sebarang kemalangan ketika sesi ujian.

*ingat buat step by step..('',)


Contoh-contoh kesalahan mandatori ( gagal serta merta ):
============================================1. Anda tidak tarik brek tangan dan bebaskan gear ketika berhenti di simpang tiga.
2. Anda terus memandu walaupun lampu isyarat menunjukkan warna merah.
3. Memandu melebihi 60km sejam.
4. Menukar lorong tergesa-gesa dan membahayakan.
5. Anda melanggar garisan pembahagi di tengah-tengah jalan.
6. Tidak memberi isyarat ketika hendak membelok dan memotong.

*be careful yo ('',)
ni sume aku amik kat SINI

thanks to afiq yusuf sebab tag gambar mahalah.

T,T

salam

walau raga kita terpisah jauh
namun hati kita selalu dekat
bila rindu
pejamkan matamu
dan rasakan a a a aku rindu
kekuatan cinta takkan pernah rapuh
terhapus ruang dan waktu
percayalah kesetiaan ini
pada ketulusan a a aishiteru

maaf, saya tak boleh pejam mata, air mata je turun. memang saya rindu sangat2. dah tak leh tahan sampai jatuh air mata. hari ni dah lah fail qti, pastu cikgu  saya yang hensem pun xbalas meseg. well, die memang hensem tapi taklah meragut jiwa because da pangkat pakcik-pakcik. mesti cikgu kecewa dengan saya. saya pelajar die yang excellent waktu mula2, takde masalah gear n clucth become worse day by day. hari ni mati enjin kat trafic light, dulu xde pun masalah macam ni. mungkin sebab saya da hilang fokus. maafkan saya cikgu. beri saya peluang dan saya akan buat betul-betul.

hari ni saya perasan dalam hati saya ade ruang kosong, saya rindu, saya nangis bace note kat fb, saya nangis dengar lagu aishiteru. saya rindu. rindu sesangat. orang kata bile hati kite rase kosong, maksudnya rohani kita lapar tapisaya da tingkatkan rohani saya..saya bace quran, saya solat terawih. kenapa masih lapar? ade orang kata kite rasa kosong sebab jodoh kita tengah sedih sekarang, saya dahlah tengah bermasam muka dengan jodoh saya (kut), pedulik ape saya kalau die sedih, ntah-ntah die sedang bersuka ria sekarang.

saya rasa nak cal kawan-kawan yang saya rindu. cal ezzati semalam dan terkejut banyaknya bende yang baru happen. selamani saya rase follow status kat facebook da mengcukupi, rupanya banyak bende menarik yang hanya share dengan orang specel je. cal adi, adi xangkat. cal asyraf, mahal pulak. call mar, aini n pah, takut gangu lak, cal sham, seganlah pasal da curi rumate die. name2 yang xdisebut tu, bukan saya tak nak cal, tapi saya memang takut mengangu. saya tak nak susahkan orang dengan keadaan diri yang merengek-rengek ni.

tau tak ape yang saya perlukan..kemas bilik..basuh baju..